Have you ever had weird moments where you wondered if some event is a coincidence or a sign from above? Were they moments of despair or times when you needed affirmation? I’ve had many such moments – surprising coincidences or strange events? Was it the hand of God? Was I searching for a sign so that I interpreted an everyday event as something magical and meaningful?
When my husband and I were considering buying a beachfront unit we decide to go for a walk along the nearby beach to ponder the decision. We had been looking for a number of months for a property but were a little scared to take the plunge into debt. Was this the one, the right location? Could we afford it? My husband was a very keen fisherman and I was a typical Aussie beach bum. I loved the beach, the soothing sound of the waves, the thrill of boarding, the hunt for the perfect shell, the way the waves tickled your feet. I was at home and at peace. But was this the right place? It was a very quiet spot and we were the only couple on the beach at the time.
“Did you see that?” out of the corner of my eye I saw a fish leap out of the water and land on the beach only metre away from us. Dolphins were chasing a school of fish through the waves looking for their dinner. One poor fish had made a great miss judgement leaping out of the water and landing on the dry sand. Now he was our dinner. It was a sign. What else could it be? A month later the beachside unit was ours. We never did see anything like it again but we did catch plenty of fish.
Then there came a time of great despair, a time when I considered giving up. I was divorced and had just been the victim of some abuse from a loved one. What was the point of continuing going on? Things in my life were just getting worse day by day and there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Then out of the blue I received a text message from a friend and I knew that someone cared about me and me about them. I washed the tears from my face and I soldiered on. I told myself tomorrow is another day and perhaps, hopefully, things will be better.
The most bizarre of all the unexplained moments in my life is the card. When I had been married I rarely read a book. On the odd occasion that I did, I got caught out by my husband and my actions were met with looks of disapproval and anger. How could a wife have time to read a book when her house wasn’t immaculate?! Such a sin! So when I divorced I decided it was time to reacquaint myself with all the things I used to love when I was single. I had begun writing poetry again through my split and subsequent divorce. I guess they were emo moments. Ways to express myself through the hard times. So on my first visit to the local public library I decided to rummage through the poetry section. My selection process was simple –I picked books not too thick. I selected “Anonymous Premonitions” by Yvette Holt, an indigenous poet. Inside the book someone had left a greeting card. It was brand new with an envelope. It was a sympathy card. I’ll take that I thought. I don’t know anyone sick or nearing death but perhaps one day I may have a use for it. I can be so practical at times and such a scrooge.
Have you ever watched the movie “The Box.”? I now wonder if that moment was like that. Instead of opening a box I accepted a card and determined the fate of another. At the time I just thought awesome – a freebie.
When I got home I filed the card away with all my gift wrapping bits and pieces and thought nothing more of it.
Two weeks later I received a call from a friend. “I have some bad news. One of our friends has died.”
I knew straight away who it was. “Did she kill herself?” I asked. “Yes, she jumped off a bridge.”
“I knew there was something wrong. I could see it in her eyes.”
At the funeral the Eulogy mentioned her actions in promoting aboriginal rights. She wasn’t indigenous and I never knew that she been involved in such activism.
I took flowers to the funeral along with a sympathy card. The one I had found in the library book. I laid them both beside the coffin. I always thought I would pass before her. I had even decided which records I was going to bestow to her.
When I think of that card I think why couldn’t the sign have been clearer. Why is that only now I understand its meaning? I could have done something. I could have done more.